Tight Rope Walking

I bought a new dress for Easter, and it arrived in the mail.  Decided to actually try it on today.  Reagan was profuse with the compliments.  Every middle-aged, overweight woman should have a 4 year old girl with them when trying on clothes.

"Mom!  What a beautiful princess dress!  You're GORGEOUS!    I love it!  When I get bigger, I want a dress like that too!  It's so pretty!"

Unfortunately, I have eyes, a mirror, and a passing acquaintance with reality.  There was no princess in the house, I can tell you that.   In an effor to achieve a "slimming effect", I tried the dress on with my highest of high-heels, the 4" platform pumps my sisters talked me into getting for Elle's wedding. 

Mom: "Well, I hope I can walk in these and not fall all over myself."
Reagan:  "It's easy Mom!  Just put your arms out like THIS when you walk!"

So, if any of you happen to see me wearing a purple dress, ridiculously high heels and walking around with my arms held straight out... you'll know why.  It really does work, by the way.  It was the only way I could make it from my bedroom to the living room mirror without killing myself.